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The People in The Trees

NOTE: INSANITY AHEAD: A short, totally CRAZYPANTS story I wrote in 2003 – in the midst of my addiction – about The Tree People.  If you don’t know what Tree People are, consider yourself very, very...

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Bathtub Angels

Years of  experience have taught me that my crystal binges can be paused only by one or more of the following reasons: running out of product, a spiral into full psychosis due to sleep deprivation, or...

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My First Monster

 “I’m writing a letter to each person that I have offended sexually in the past.  I do want to apologize to them.  But I don’t want that to be just a simple statement. I think that they…basically, what...

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WHITE BOY ON TOP OF THE WORLD

I’m hunched up on the hillside next to our house, fully enclosed by the long, thorny vines of the giant Bougainvillea, their purplish flowers dotting my field of vision.  The morning sunlight...

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Night of the Vesuvian Pussy

I’ve heard it said that idleness is the Devil’s Playground, and if that was true I was about to make a mad dash for the swingset. I had been working at least 40 hours a week since I was thirteen …...

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Trojan Choker

writers note: this entry was written in 2004, closer to the beginning of my addiction to crystal meth, when I was still capable of writing – sort of – while using.   Why do I seek the companionship of...

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Machete, Moonlight, Madness: part one

I drop the curtain, and reflexively retrieve the pipe and torch from the bedside drawer and take another deep hit.  I replace it, and quickly move to the window on the north side of the house, yanking...

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VIDEO: Room 233

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOrQWrFpFUQ A piece about one of the darkest days of my meth addiction, as read to a hundred strangers at the storytelling show "Taboo Tales," 8/30/2011 at the Zephyr...

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Sober Musical Interlude #1

If you follow this blog (and thank you SO much if you do)  you know that I write dark, depressing stuff full of angst and anger and, well, as my husband puts it: “meth, death and bated breath.” The...

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‘The Advocate’ of Total Bullshit

This is something that has been bothering my conscience for a long, long time. For eight  years and one month, to be precise. Late in 2004, my then-partner (now husband) Patrick – a minor celebrity of...

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My Jesus Looks Like Jean-Paul Belmondo

A long time ago, when I was very young, Jesus was my closest friend. I went to church every Sunday: first at Christ the King in Commack, New York, and later, after moving to California at the age of...

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Life and Death at Three Thirty Three

NOTE: At the end of this month, it will be eighteen years since I lost one of the best friends i’ve ever had. Even though so much time has passed and so many wonderful – and truly awful – things …...

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Dear Kira

Last night my niece sent me a chat message on Facebook, asking how she should respond to a schoolmate who is opposed to gay marriage based on..get this..the belief that allowing gay people to get...

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Beware the Deviant Heterosexual

I am in crisis. Not only am I apprehensive about the future of our society, I am downright sickened and revolted by what has been going on right under my nose my entire life. Heterosexuals are NOT the...

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Two Anniversaries

Last week my husband and I celebrated the third anniversary of our wedding on April 12, 2010, in Old Greenwich, Connecticut. Attended by friends and family and filled with laughter and tears, April 12...

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Testing Grace

So, the personal wreckage cleanup begins again. Does anyone have a backhoe I can borrow for a few days…or weeks…perhaps months? I wonder how my husband tolerates this.  I know there must be those...

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